Here continues my journey from a size 18 (my heaviest weight was 217lbs) towards my dream goal of size 8/10 (around 100 lbs). My current weight is around 185lbs so I am getting there – slowly but surely.
Not So Healthy…
I am determined to lose weight, but I am letting you know that I have struggled with food aswell as the belief in myself, my image and loving my body; I have at my lowest point wrestled with an eating disorder of a bing/purge subtype. I’m not gonna delve into that though.
Yes, I don’t go to the extremes I once did but I still have certain habits that have stuck. Calorie counting is one, extreme portion control is another, as is having to make my own meals. Oddly enough, no one ever really viewed these things as bad or even related, ironic really!
Enough about that though, no point dwelling and all that jazz! One thing that did develop through the dark time though is love. Love for my family and friends for sticking by me, love for myself for not allowing my self sabotage tendencies to ruin the life that I’ve worked on and built to suit me alone; love for the people who made me who I am to this day, and also a love for healthy food and a healthy life.
Feel The Burn, Baby!
Before everything, I was so lazy!
It’s actually a tad embarrassing…
I hated Physical Education at school, my P.E teachers felt the brunt of my rebellious stage and I found that when I did participate it was only in the things I liked, or knew I could do fairly well. I hated feeling on show, especially when I struggled, I hated people thinking I was stupid. I stuck to what I knew – badminton, tennis and running mainly (though it was more like jogging really).
For a while though things dramatically changed; I went to the gym around 4 times a week (and that includes cardio and weight training), went walking just for a wonder, the Wii fit even got dusted off now and again. This is the point I started this blog originally and things where going well.
Then I moved out to go to university. I’m not using this as an excuse but you know the drill, girl moves out but doesn’t acutally know how to cook thus get’s a few too many take aways and takes trips to the Union every other Tuesday, then the workload gets on top of her, she constantly stays in to get shit done and things just spiral into a nots healthy mess. That’s basically what happened. And I admit I put on weight.
Now though I’m currently in the process of getting healthy again – watching what I eat, being more active, all the while saving for a bike and a treadmil, then I’m gonna take up swimmingonce I’m more comfy in my swimsuit.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do get random spouts of lazy-itous now and again, especially when Scotland does its best and constantly rains or has schizophrenic blizzards.
With me are my oldest brother Steven and my twin cousin (same age) Kirsty. I may still not be the slimmest but here I was happy, I still am!
Here I hope to show you photographs of me with my slim and healthy body! (: